Our 20-Week Anatomy Scan: Another Little Glimpse of You 🤍

The appointment I was both excited for and absolutely dreading.

I feel like the 20-week anatomy scan is one of those pregnancy milestones that everyone talks about with so much excitement. You get to see your little baby again, watch them wriggle around on the screen and hopefully walk away with a few more photos to add to the growing collection. But if I'm being completely honest, this was probably one of the appointments I had been dreading the most.

Don't get me wrong, I was so excited to see our little Mini again, but the thought of what we could potentially find out during this appointment scared the absolute crap out of me.

By this point, we'd spent 21 weeks loving this tiny little human we'd never even met. We'd started buying things, slowly putting the nursery together, imagining what life was going to look like when they arrived and getting more and more attached every single day. The thought that we could walk into one appointment and find out that something was seriously wrong was absolutely terrifying.

I think what scared me the most wasn't just the possibility of something being wrong, but the thought of potentially having to make a decision that no parent should ever have to make. What if something was so serious that we had to consider whether bringing our little one into the world would mean a lifetime of pain or suffering? How on earth would you even begin to make a decision like that?

It's such a horrible thing to think about, especially when you're supposed to be enjoying this exciting chapter of your life. But I think that's something I've learnt about pregnancy — you can be incredibly excited and absolutely terrified at the same time.

──────────────────────── ♡ ────────────────────────

Finally Seeing Our Little Mini Again

When the day finally arrived, Tenison and I walked into the appointment feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. I was trying not to overthink everything, but anyone who knows me knows that's much easier said than done. 

Thankfully, it didn't take long for some of those nerves to settle. Almost as soon as our little Mini appeared on the screen, there they were, wriggling around like a little gymnast, completely oblivious to how much their mum had been stressing over this appointment.

And just like that, I felt myself relax a little.

The scan went for around 45 minutes, and I honestly found it fascinating just how much they could look at. She checked everything from our baby's heart and brain to their spine, jaw, little feet and so many other tiny details I wouldn't have even thought about.

It's incredible to think that this little person, who still has so much growing to do, already has all these tiny features that can be seen so clearly on a screen.

I spent most of the appointment watching in amazement, occasionally trying to work out what I was actually looking at, while also waiting and hoping that everything she was checking was exactly as it should be.

──────────────────────── ♡ ────────────────────────

The Relief I Can't Even Explain

Thankfully, we walked away from our appointment with the news we'd been hoping and praying for — everything they checked looked healthy, and there were no concerns raised about our little Mini. 🤍

I don't think I can properly explain the relief I felt hearing that.

After spending so much time worrying about all the things that could potentially go wrong, being able to walk out knowing that our little one was looking healthy was the most incredible feeling.

Of course, I know pregnancy will always come with its own little worries, and I'm sure I'll find another hundred things to overthink before this baby arrives. But for now, I feel like I can finally let go of one of the biggest fears I'd been carrying around.

──────────────────────── ♡ ────────────────────────

A Little Reminder to Myself

If there's one thing this pregnancy has taught me so far, it's just how much you can love someone you've never met.

I never really understood how that was possible until now. How you can spend your days worrying about someone you haven't held, wondering if they're okay, imagining who they're going to be and loving them more with every passing week.

And I think that's why appointments like this can feel so overwhelming. Because suddenly there's so much more at stake than just seeing a cute little face on a screen.

For anyone else heading into their anatomy scan feeling nervous, I just want you to know that you're not the only one. It's okay to be excited and scared. It's okay to worry about the things you hope you'll never have to face, and it's okay to feel an enormous amount of relief when everything goes well.

I'm incredibly grateful that our appointment brought us reassuring news, and I know not every family gets to walk away with the same experience.

For now, I'm just going to keep enjoying this growing belly, those little kicks and every moment we get closer to meeting the tiny human who has already completely changed our world.

21 weeks of loving you, little Mini, and somehow that love just keeps getting bigger. 🤍